LG. Two ubiquitous letters that today appear in tandem on everything from cell phones to herbal toothpaste. It was only a matter of time before they became guests in our kitchens as well.

We all love the sounds and smells of the kitchen, a source for dozens of warm memories. The season finale of Desperate Housewives...American Idol...the new Korn video on MTV. Ahh yes.

The ad reads "With its built-in LCD TV, the LG TV refrigerator allows you to get more things done in the kitchen than just cooking."

We're stumped. Wouldn't you get more"things done" when you're trying to prepare food without a TV bothering you? What is it about staring at a screen is getting "done"?

Cooking, an activity (note the root word "active"), rather than a hobby, a time to create, is now a chore in our society. In fact, the kitchen, rather than being a place for cooking, is now, like every other facet of our mindless lives, a place to absorb more advertising and more meaningless clutter. Look at this woman. She's about to dump out an entire pot of hot food all over the counter because she is so damn enthralled by...by...that bevy of identical models? And what, pray tell, is that thing on the left there? Hopefully it plays mp3s. And doesn't this kitchen look like it belongs in THX-1138?

We need to consume product pitches at all times. It needs to pervade every room and every space. And it needs to replace any activity that in the past was an important part of our humanity - what it means to be human. What it means to be am organic being, in fact. Those things, for us, are now just chores that get in the way of consumption.

Ever been to a party and find yourself crammed in the kitchen, despite having other rooms to socialize in? Like all social animals, human beings tend to gather around food. We plan our events around eating. Luckily, those days will be long gone. Instead of chatting with grandma for hours in the kitchen while she meticulously slaves over a family recipe dozens of generations in the making, we can just buy our ready-made pre-processed genetically and chemically-engineered stuff, stick it in some gaping electronic device, and drown grandma out with Everybody Loves Raymond. Hallelujah.